overheard in dublin
a few from their site..............
such a humble train service
A recent automated announcement at Blackrock Dart station:
"We regret to announce..... that... due to an accident... the... 12.09 service.... from Howth.... is... on time. Iarnród Éireann apologises for any inconvenience caused"
Overheard on Friday, 09th December 2005 - Blackrock Dart Station by James
Iarnrod Eireann - Getting There!
I was on the train from Waterford to Dublin one Monday morning. The usual announcement came over the intercom ‘Iarnrod Eireann would like to advise passengers that this train will NOT be serving Kilkenny, this train will be stopping at Thomastown, KILKENNY, Carlow, Athy, Kildare and Dublin Heuston’. I looked at my brother somewhat confused at the contradiction! This was promptly followed by another announcement ‘Iarnrod Eireann would like to advise passengers that this train will NOT be serving Kildare, this train will be stopping at Thomastown, Kilkenny, Carlow, Athy, KILDARE and Dublin Heuston’, at this point some random passenger shouts out ‘ya muppet ya, will ya make up you’re f*cking mind’, cue laughter from all around the carriage!
There was then another announcement stating that ‘Tea, coffee, sandwiches and a selection of snacks are available from the snack car, which is situated towards the centre of the train’. Nice one, I thought, as we were situation towards the centre of the train. However, after walking through about what seemed like 10 carriages, I finally found the snack car at the REAR of the train! The passenger in front of me was trying to order some food and asked what sandwiches were available and was told ‘eh, we’ve no sandwiches available’, so he asked for a couple of packets of crisp and was told ‘eh, we’ve no crisps’. Getting slightly irate, the passenger said ‘ok so, I’ll have two cans of coke please’ only to be told ‘there’s no coke’. ‘So what the f*ck do you have, you said you had a selection of sandwiches and light snacks’, to which the reply was ‘ eh, we have tea and coffee that’s all, sure you know yourself, it’s a Monday morning and no one stocked up the train’! Classic, ‘Iarnord Eireann, Getting There’ but you might miss your stop or starve along the way!
Overheard on Friday, 30th September 2005 - On the train! by Nuls
On an Iarnrod Eireann train the following announcement was made on an almost painfully loud PA: "Will passengers please note, the crew have no control over the volume of the PA"
Overheard on Tuesday, 06th September 2005 - On the train from Limerick to Dublin by Tony
Irish Rail psychology
On the train from dublin to sligo. Shortly after departure when the conductor came to check the tickets I asked him how long the journey would take, having heard that it was one of the slowest lines in the country...
"Just over nine hours" was the reply. A bit taken aback I managed to splutter...
"NINE HOURS?!?" in a raised voice.
He came right back at me with...
"Well it's really 4 hours but it doesn't sound too bad now does it."
Overheard on Wednesday, 24th August 2005 - afternoon train Dublin to Sligo. by noel