[Thomas J Stamp]

my washing machine broke flooding the utility room.

on removing it we found a rats' nest.

"Oh", we said "look, he loves pizza and teabags"

he then retreated into the boiler and ate rat poison like it was going out of fashion.

He used to eyeball me. I liked him.

Then, one morning, he was all dead. So I scooped him up and put him in the bin.

I shed a tear, for he was a worthy adversary.

Last weekend I saw raw ****e explode from a manhole on Parkgate Street.

Oh how I laughed.